


Kim Jongdae is Not a Space Pirate (but he probably is)

by solarcy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, BBH, Beagle Line - Freeform, CBX, Chinguline, DKS, EXO - Freeform, EXO CBX, HZT, KJD, KJI, KJM, LHN, MAMA Powers!AU, OSH - Freeform, PCY, Space AU, Space Pirates, Space!AU, WYF, ZYX, kms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 21:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarcy/pseuds/solarcy
Summary: Kim Jongdae and his crew arenotfucking pirates. Not at all.





	Kim Jongdae is Not a Space Pirate (but he probably is)

_"Left! Left, you asshole, LEFT!"_ a shrill voice in his left ear, a deeper one echoing in his right, " _GO LEFT!"_

_"_ If I go left we're toast. I'm going right." 

"If we go right we fly through the largest field of space rubble this side of the fucking galaxies, i'd rather take the blasters of the ISU than oh.... the _subzero vacuum of space?"_ Jongdae goes right anyway. Baekhyun and Chanyeol hurl insults at him, and he decides to let them believe he's going to fly them through a field of space rubble. They both need to have more faith in him. They're going under it. Honestly, Baekhyun should have known better than to make him fly to Ahi* to pick Chanyeol up. The place is crawling with Intergalactic Space Union officers. Illegally docking got them caught faster than he would have liked.

"Wait - oh, we're going under it aren't we," Chanyeol marvels, clocking onto Jongdae's hands which are gearing the Exodus up for a jump into jump into hyperspace. The Exodus is an old ship, but she is Kim jongdae's pride and joy, his livelihood, and he refuses to leave her behind for a newer, prettier model. The Exodus 2.0 will never happen. Kim Jongdae will continue to fly this ship until its falling apart at the seams and the airlock gives out on him. 

"Why  _the fuck_ did they catch us so quickly," Baekhyun slams his hands down on the Navigation Desk, "Might it have been because a certain Park Chanyeol couldn't keep his mouth shut that we were coming for him?" 

"Dude when you called I was in the busiest street in Ahi, what did you want me to do? Ignore you? We all know how mad you get when I do that."

"Stop pouting, you two, and get me a safe route to Ka Lā*," Jongdae grunts, focussing on winding his baby through the stray rocks under the rubble field. The ISU seems to have lost them. Again, Jongdae wonders how such an organisation can keep the peace in almost every galaxy within a billion light years. They even think of he and his crew as pirates! Kim Jongdae and his crew on the Exodus are  _not_ pirates. They don't kill for sport... most of the time. 

"Yes Captain." 

"I wonder what price they'll put on our heads this time," sighs Chanyeol, twirling a tiny flame through his fingertips. If he says he misses Ahi already, Jongdae will have to get up and punch him. They'd gone almost the full breadth of the 'Ula'Ula* Planets without having a run-in with the ISU, and picking him up ruined their streak. 

"JD, I've got a decent route. If we need to go to Ka Lā, then we'll need to pass through the ʻōmaʻomaʻo* isles. Maybe we should get Kyungsoo on the way?" Baekhyun gives Jongdae the screen with his chosen route. Good, nothing to seriously damage his ship. 

"Send a message through to him first. Maybe he doesn't want to be picked up. Hopefully. Honua* is usually crawling with pirates looking for jade, isn't it?" Chanyeol says, from his place monitoring the engines and blasters. 

"Hm. Good idea, but he'll want picked up. He hates going home, remember? His parents haven't quite accepted the fact that their youngest son is almost on the Intergalactic Wanted list," Jongdae snorts. Kyungsoo really does hate Honua. 

"Yeol, can you get the ISU radio frequency again? I want to know what price they've got for us this time." 

"Buckle up, ladies, we're jumping in one minute," Jongdae says, making sure his own seatbelt is tight enough. Space jumps are rough in an old ship like his. He turns, expecting the indignant looks from his crewmates. Just as he was looking for, there they are. Baekhyun looks like someone has put cucumber in his food and Chanyeol looks like jongdae has stood up and insulted his fire bending skills. Wonderful. He squeezes his eyes shut as the Exodus squeezes its way through spacetime and holds his breath, praying that nothing breaks this time around. His baby pulls through, and Jongdae exhales. 

"I fucking hate hyperspace," Chanyeol looks rather green, "I gotta go," he says, unbuckling his seatbelt and stumbling away from the cockpit of the Exodus. 

Its been a while, Jongdae thinks, but his little family is almost back together. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is where all the words with asterisks (*) are! They're all Hawaiian words, which is not my first language, but if it's yours or you have knowledge of it, let me know if any of the translations are wrong! They're all only single words, and I wasn't particularly creative with the words I used, but nevertheless: 
> 
> _Ahi_ : Fire  
>  _'Ula'ula_ : Red  
>  _Ka Lā_ : Sun  
>  _ʻōmaʻomaʻo_ : Green  
>  _Honua_ : Earth 
> 
> This will be added to as more of the planet, system, and galaxy names are introduced!


End file.
